CONFIDENCE, NOT PERFECTION.
““Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”
I was casually walking the streets of twitter when I saw a post by Bola Sol, “The Need For Confidence“ and I thought to rant a little on that subject.
Some people are lucky enough to grow up in households where confidence is imbibed from childhood, parents supporting their every dream, no matter how different and chanting “you can do it” behind every decision. Sadly, quite a number of us don’t fall in that category. A lot of us have had to learn to pick it up in our own time, raising our pom-poms as high as we can for ourselves and basically winging it till we believe we have just the right amount of confidence to get by.
Statistics show that women more than men have a particular difficulty developing self confidence, majorly due to the fact that we instinctively focus on everyone else but ourselves. We spend more time “building” our men, nurturing our children, being the right dose of passive, not too daring, not too ambitious, not too “intimidating” but not enough time self developing & harnessing our super powers as women.
Even worse, with the advent of social media appropriation today, there is a tendency for us to let society’s impression of the things we are not dominate the sphere of our influence, putting a mental barrier on our capabilities within our chosen fields, relationships, etc.
Now self-confidence, in my opinion, cannot be learned like a set of rules, it is a state of mind. It is knowing that regardless of preconceived notions, there is a level of self-assurance in one’s abilities, skills and experiences. It is understanding that a failure or two doesn’t define you, rather gives you an appreciation of the extent of your capabilities. It is NOT perfection.
I particularly enjoyed watching this TED talk delivered by Reshma Saujani on “Teaching girls bravery, not perfection” as it highlights the relationship between self confidence, risk taking & perceived levels of perfection in women. I recommend this to every woman; it’ll change your perspective.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson
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Till next time….
(Written by Alma & Uchenna Obikile)